First year at college: “Damn, 5 years is a real pain in the ass.” “When will I graduate?” “That’s like waiting for ages?”
Fifth year (and last) at college: “This is it!” “Yes, I’m finally graduating” “Thank God! Student life is over.”
A week before graduation: “hhh, I’m graduating now. But why am I not happier?”
And when it comes to me, it wasn’t just a week before I felt all the blues — it was on the entire semester when I started feeling the depression of coming to an end, the student life, college life, the day-to-day routines that made my day, the faces I often see, the funs, hangouts, cramming, deadliest deadlines, almost my entire 5 whole year in an engineering course will soon come to an end.
Yup, they’re right! The hardest things to let go are those the things that comes close to your heart.
But, nevertheless, I didn’t regret the things that became part of my heart. Regret wouldn’t counter-weigh the good memories I will soon recall.
Upon reaching the last few pages of a chapter, it is very difficult for me to read on further, but I must. By just watching at the bleachers, or the canteen, or the stairways, it somehow touches my heart that made my eyes teary. Please don’t make me explain further, you know very well that I’m not giving my sentiments to the material aspect of my sight but rather it is the memories it once had.
As one chapter ends, another one opens. The feeling is good when you’re done with a chapter and you kept on reading to the next for the purpose of knowing further what will happen. The drive is curiosity when it’s not your story and it is fear when it is your own.
I can’t help but to fear my future. Well, technically, I am fearing nothing because future never comes, they suddenly turn into present. Anyhow, they’re still future but with a different label. And another reason for my blues are the fear that hides behind my future’s uncertainty. What’s there to do than fight it, face it, embrace it even if it mean you pains and bruises.
And all of that begins as I soon close my chapter. I don’t mind if they look blue, they fill in my sky anyway.
I felt blue during my pre-graduation days. Does it really matter? It’s just a chapter in the middle. What I really hoped for is, I won’t be having blues during my real graduation day. That I’m happy that I passed in all life’s exam. 🙂