Kiss Me Goodbye
This is one of my blog entry 5 years ago, which was written under my pen name: Sandy Alexis. What inspires me to write this is because of that song Kiss Me Good-bye, though I don’t quite understand since it’s in foreign language, the soft, eerie music moves me so. (see below)
I was standing at the balcony looking at the distant vivid pasture. I felt home, I felt peace, and I wonder if the pasture gazed back knowing how happy I am – to be with him. The morning air breezed, the sun warmed and suddenly a smooth palm lay on top of my hand. I looked over to my side and saw his radiant smile. I saw his eyes full of love. Then he wrapped his arms around me from behind. He’s been my guardian, my friend, a defendant, my love. I closed my eyes and felt even more the elements that joined us – his presence especially. I realized my senses were at their peak when I’m with him. I could smile beyond the sense of touch, I’m seeing love beyond my eyes can perceive, I could hear his heartbeat beyond my ears can hear, and I’m wondering how can I live without him. He is my everything – the avid reader of my life, in every chapter and in every page.
And then he withdrew his arms. A trace of sadness was seen on my face. He had to go, this day would come and I’m hoping he’ll come back home with me. But it seemed the sky knew better of love, it suddenly turned gray and loosed a downpour. And now I’m looking through the window with my tears drifting fast. This is unacceptable. Why do we end up this way? When everything runs in perfect shades of color, darkness will always be in the corner, waiting. With another drop of my tear, I lost him. I didn’t cry hard for we didn’t last, I cry hard for there will never be as great as his love and my love.
He died, the pain was so real. But I had to bury him and along the three-fourth of my memory. How, how can I forget that radiant smile, that eyes full of love and lips that could utter me whole? I lay on my bed unnoticing if it was soft or fluffy. The pain followed by a deathly numb, and I’m ready for what agony comes next. Every time I looked at the sky, a tear will always draw a line. How I missed him, the moments he pulled the heavy emotions in me, lighted my day, and even completed it.
I was once again at the balcony, the wind was telling to move on, write the next chapters. Even if I wanted to, there will be no one who’s avid enough to read it through. I’m writing for whom? Sorry but I can’t help it, tears will always fall irrepressibly. I closed my eyes and recalled that very last day. I remembered, after he withdrew his arms, he kissed me, hugged me so tight and for the very last. I opened my eyes and again dew-like water fell, but this time it wasn’t for the pains but instead, of a love so true that he didn’t leave with all my stories. He left me a kiss, enough for me to believe that he didn’t leave for love is over. He left me a kiss, for he knew I would come to this agonizing part, and one kiss is all I need to awaken all my senses. You kissed me good-bye and I’ll always remember you for your true love.